Finding Her

And it was the end. A new love was blooming. The most recent one had come and gone. Yet, what happens once is sure to happen twice-- they say. The one she once loved grabbed her by the heart and squeezed it into a misshape bigger than it had ever been.

Joachim had done her justice, though. He made her realize she had patience. She had loved him for 10 years in hopes of a wedding ring. She knew of her own determination. Before they were together, she took all the right steps to lure him to her, regardless of her friends who said it would never be. She prayed for him everyday. She cried for his safety in uncertain times, rejoiced for his successes, and pleaded for him to be genuine to himself. These things made her aware that she had a bit of goodness inside.

This goodness extended further to an outward show. She had domestic inclinations. She cooked every other night. She washed his clothes and cleaned his floors and kitchen. She had social finesse. She got along with his parents, made his friends laugh, and co-hosted memorable parties. She had a soft demeanor. In crowds. She had honesty and comfort. Between the two of them. She had heart. She spoke her mind and had no problems with putting nay-sayers in their place. However, she missed two things.

When Joachim met Dee, he fell so far in love. She was beautiful. She had long brown curls and a big, round booty. He could see her face. It had a tight, hardened and spacious look. A look he was used to. Dee came from a good family, so he took the right steps to approach her. It wasn't too difficult. She was approachable. She always winked or smiled at him coyly. What impressed him most was that she was bold enough to tell him she wanted him. She spelled it out for him, and he liked that.

Dee spelled it out for him for the next few years to his recollection. She would tell him what she liked, wanted, needed-- when, where, and how. He would buy her things. She kept the peace. Their relationship was low-key and satisfying. She was always the right medicine for a long day or a headache. She would rub his back and his head when he was tired or sore. She washed his clothes those days and cleaned up after him other days. Even though they broke up and got back together continually, it worked for them. They were happy together.

Then, she started asking him. She wanted to know when they would get more serious. She wanted more and needed more. She was being needy. It affected the relationship. The break-ups were more frequent with Dee. The happiness was waning. He felt pressured to marry her after ten years. He didn't want to be completely tied down though. Joachim had a decision to make. On one hand, there was the love of his life who he had been with for ten years. On the other hand, there was the fling.

Inez had missed it. She knew something else was taking up his time, but knew not what could be more significant or more treasured than their relationship. She believed they were in love. She felt secure in it. All she had noticed was that at times he would have more business trips and go to see his family more often. Inez didn't understand why after ten wonderful years, Joachim did not easily recognize that a life-long commitment should be made. In her late twenties, Inez felt if he didn't want to be with her, she would and could move on.

The other thing Inez missed was herself. Everything revolved around him. As she packed her things from his home, what she did understand was that the relationship had been beneficial to her. She had witnessed her character and her quality. And as she drove her car down his driveway to head back to her own home, she understood that it was the time to find out who she was without him. And as they say-- if it's love, she knew it would come back.

And as Joachim watched Inez drive away from his window, he could only think of her patience, determination, charm, finesse, assertiveness, softness and care. He could only remember her intelligence and her stubborn will. Though he felt all these things, he was left wondering why he immediately felt empty. Why Dee was fleeting and not ever enough. Why they never stayed together. Why he never felt the same with Dee as he did with Inez. Joachim began to pray for himself. As he began, in her car Inez whispered a prayer for herself.